Milton Keynes v Scunthorpe United

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Football League One

Milton Keynes :
Baker, Edds, Morgan, Mills, Lewington, Kamara (Wilbraham 74), Mitchell, Stephen Quinn, Rizzo (McKoy 65), Platt, McLeod
Subs not used:
Smith, Martin, Crooks

Scunthorpe United :
Musselwhite, Stanton, Crosby, Butler, Williams, Sparrow, Hinds (Taylor 57), Baraclough, Corden (Parton 84), Keogh, Sharp
Subs not used:
Byrne, Johnson, Evans

SULSESC REPORT

by Mark Borrill at National Hockey Stadium

ORIGINALLY, I had intended to display my erudite wit by writing a devastatingly satirical piece of prose. The potential opportunities for barbed comments were seemingly endless, ranging from Mickey Mouse Club, franchisement, and could I really see my house from row Z?

However, that plan is now history since, given last night's performance, no Iron fan has any right to make Smart Alec remarks about any other team.

I wish to state, publicly and unequivocally, that as I write this, I am totally disgusted with the team and manager of our beloved club.

Okay, the omens were there, given United's habit of losing to dross. Perhaps Butler is not fully match fit. Corden is no Beagrie. Indeed, I don't even think he's worthy of selection at all.

Any other scraps of excuses more devious minds than mine can think of would be welcome. Doubtless Laws will state that we are badly missing Torpey. Instead of Torpey missing badly.

Even trying to make generous allowances and stretching credulity to the maximum, the bottom line cannot be denied... we were absolutely bloody useless.

MK Dons had not won prior to kick-off because they are a very limited side but at least they fought and played with some passion. What's United's excuse? A couple of defeats on the spin and heads are down, confidence has evaporated, feet have become elephants' hooves (big and clumsy, not necessarily grey), the ball is spurned as if it's highly toxic, and cluelessness reigns supreme.

Our display was a shambles in every regard. No pride, no passion, lump the ball upfield to be devoured by tall defenders, Keogh constantly offside. In fact, there was nothing of any credit nor anything positive to be remembered.

Tactically, Laws has to be accountable for this disgrace but once on the pitch his bunch of sorry excuses for players have a lot to answer for.

We all anticipated a long, difficult season and maybe we have over-achieved so far, but to surrender so abjectly makes the fall of Singapore seem like a British tactical victory.

As one bloke behind me said at the final whistle: "I can't even be bothered to boo." It was that bad.