Scunthorpe United v Crystal Palace

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Football League Championship

Scunthorpe United :
Murphy, Cork, Crosby, Butler, Youga, Taylor (Williams 82), Goodwin, Sparrow, Hurst, Hayes (Forte 78), Paterson
Subs not used:
Lillis, Baraclough, Morris

Crystal Palace :
Speroni, Lawrence, Fonte, Hudson, Craig, Kennedy, Fletcher (Freedman 69), Watson, Songo'o (Bostock 64), Scowcroft, Idrizaj (Morrison 54)
Subs not used:
Flinders, Hills

SULSESC REPORT

by Chris Vaughan at Glanford Park

8am at Kings Cross. A group of non-descript but bleary-eyed individuals gather together on the station concourse, some attired in hints of claret and blue, and exchange greetings. Small children are ushered away by parents…

Ever with an eye for a bargain, the SULSESC (rail-carried) travelling contingent have opted for the early train to save a few bob. Oh, and to ensure enough time for a couple of pints in the Honest Lawyer before an earlier than usually departure for the Theatre of Dreams, (aka Glanford Park), where SULSESC are sponsoring the match with Crystal Palace of Sahf Lundun.

The train journey is uneventful, although the SULSESC contingent share the train from Doncaster with a group of Palace fans; not unusual, especially as they’ve all travelled up from London too. The general consensus is that Palace will be happy to scrape a point; Scunny have expectations above their station after a better than expected start to the season and anything less than a win will be deemed a disappointment.

After the sponsors’ meal in the club restaurant, partaken by half of SULSESC it seems, including Hon. Pres. Graham Taylor, it’s down to the nitty gritty of the football itself. Despite a bright start from United and a worryingly strong finish from Palace most of the middle section of the game is poor and dull. Neither side can score and the game ends goalless; Palace fans happier than those of the Mighty Iron.

The game is, appropriately, mostly as dry and boring as a BBC text commentary, for behind the SULSESC contingent can be heard such familiar gems as “Defensive throw-in to Scunthorpe”; “Attacking throw-in to Crystal Palace”; “Goal-kick taken long by no.1 for Scunthorpe”. Yes, the legend who phones the text commentary through to the unknown hero who transcribes it is sitting in the press box behind us. The excitement of this knowledge helps one or two through an otherwise uninspiring match, despite a glaring error when Patterson’s number10 is reported for a Jack Cork shot from outside the box in the first half.

The return home is, for most of the train-borne contingent, uneventful. Most, but not all. The Chairman, having poured himself out of the car from Glanford Park and after a brief chat or two with several of our earlier Sahf Lundun co-travellers, decides that it would be in his best interests to take an earlier train home than originally intended, not realising the true nature of some of these co-travellers. Warning bells sound when one of their number announces that he’s come all the way to Scunthorpe with no intention of going to the match; he is, after all, banned for 3 years from all football grounds… And SULSESC’s own England representative confirms this particular group are a bunch of rapscallions on the look out for extra-football entertainment…

Nevertheless our intrepid Chairman proceeds alone to share his train back to Doncaster with this jolly group of fellows. Events are a little hazy, but the gist appears to be that a timely intervention by Reg the Hedge saves more than the Chairman’s blushes after a politically correct but ill-timed comment leads to somewhat strained relations with the Palace boys.

In the end, no damage is done, except maybe to the belief that this Championship season might be easier than at first expected.