Scunthorpe United v Grimsby

Saturday, November 6, 2004

Football League Two

Scunthorpe United :
Musselwhite, Byrne, Butler, Crosby, Ridley, Sparrow (Taylor 68), Kell, Baraclough, Beagrie, Torpey, Hayes (Rankine 88)
Subs not used:
Evans, Sharp, Jackson

Grimsby :
Anthony Williams, Whittle, Gordon, Jones, McDermott (Cramb 67), Fleming, Coldicott (Pinault 67), Crowe, Parkinson, Daly (sent off 37), Sestanovich (Reddy 79)
Subs not used:
Bull, Young

SULSESC REPORT

by The Inspector at Glanford Park

WELL, we had all been waiting for this one for at least 14 years, our first League match against the Cods. Some of us had been waiting for more than a quarter of a century to see us beat them. We were not to be disappointed!

The Inspector rose early at five of the clock (without the aid of an

alarm clock) to start his trip from Newbury at precisely 5.40 am to the hallowed turf of Glanford Park. It was 199 miles in 147 minutes - 81.22 mph - mathematically impossible, surely!

Ticket collected at 10 am and match on at 3 pm. The atmosphere was mounting indeed in the stadium - very nearly a sell-out - as was the smell of rancid fish, its provenance unknown, but it seemed to be coming from the away end.

It took the Iron a mere 16 minutes to score. The venerable Beags had been felled just inside his half and took a very quick free kick (the Cods claiming quite naturally that the ball was not stationary)

typical!) to Baraclough who put a pass (not unworthy of Pires) forward to Hayes, who deftly netted in front of the home supporters.

One little fish (Daly) was expelled on 36 minutes in an off-the-ball

incident (redolent of the dismissal of Stanton the week before at the Orient) and so the Cods were reduced to 10. Oh, great joy! How many more would be caught? They had been naughty little fish, four of them being shown yellow cards by referee Miller before half-time.

The second-half started brightly, both sides going fairly close (the

Iron, of course, going closer). In fact, all the Cods could muster

throughout the entire match was one attempt on target (a header which Mussy saved comfortably in the 53rd minute). The Iron Ôkeeper could have been enjoying himself fishing on the banks of the Trent for much of the afternoon.

The other key moment of the game took pla(i?)ce after 69 minutes. Now, the Cods' defence did not seem to be strong, and Jones in particular was very weak (all 6ft. 7in. of him) but he was not involved in the incident resulting in the second goal for Hayes. Two Cod defenders went for Crosby's through ball and the Cod Ôkeeper rather stupidly decided to join the party. The ball broke for Hayes to hammer home. Match over, three points, Cods battered, thank you very much, and we're still top! Scunny Bunny thrashes Harry Haddock - yes!

Banter is good at matches, but not the chanting on the part of certain Cods about Brian Laws' late wife. This was disgusting in the extreme. The Inspector was pleased to hear that GTFC has written to SUFC to apologise.

It was unusual to hear the referee interviewed on Radio Dull on the way home. The Inspector has to admit that he wondered whether he was at the same match as the referee on occasions. The Cods certainly took great exception to his rulings. Nevertheless, Nigel Miller did acquit himself satisfactorily - one is never going to agree with all the referee's decisions. Slade, on the other hand, just carped on - and on!

In brief, a good day in terms of performance as the hapless Cods swallowed all - hook, line and sinker! - and another pleasing result, the more so in view of the opposition, and we are still top of the League!

The return journey to Newbury was a happy one and the Inspector unlocked his front door at 7.40 pm, some 14 hours after his departure, celebrated with a pint, had his dinner, went over the match on the 'phone with his mate Steve, watched MOTD and fell asleep contentedly around midnight after a long and tiring, but most joyous, day.

The cost of this extravagance? Petrol £38, ticket £14, programme £2, lunch (haddock chips and peas) £4. Total £58 - and worth every penny of it!